Aw come on. First of all, One Bourbon One Scotch One Beer is one of the funniest songs of all time. Secondly, I don't know that anyone can quite match the noises that Lonesome George can create on demand
Oh, by the way, never by a Martin 'X' series acoustic. I had a DXK2 that fell apart. Luckily I got a full refund, but they're junk. If you want a good, cheap acoustic, look into Taylor.