If you put your ad up in a dating column, apart from being a loser, what would you put about yourself and what you were seeking?
The usual, GSOH, attractive honest male seeks female with good personality who likes nights out?
Or something more inventive:
Balding male, 55, with prior criminal history seeks paraplegic girl with low self-esteem, 12-15 yrs. Must be discreet.
Let's hear 'em.