Aussie Invasion - Part II

[Return of the turnip!]

no man - it just so happens that these are numerically the greatest league players ever to play the game - period!

disapointment in tate leaving brisbane for auckland

the broncos are gonna be nothing next year without him

just as knights suck now carney has gone to union in ireland

hey js316 i gotta tell you somethin can i tell ya somefin??



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the second best moment of my lfie was seeing carney score a try in person thats pretty fuckin awesome right there eh


hey turnip man where are u aint seen u on msn in donkeys.

ps hello to our international visitors

pps ha sucks to be penny panthers rigt now smashed to bits by steve price and NZ

been working my tale off in gym and at work

U?

 

[Peanut!!]

just train and occasionally tafe and not fuckin much else!
goin to brisbane on the 7th wooo!

 

[PUMBA]

dude pick a damn account, its fuckin annoying

NOT nearly as annoying as non australians posting abuse, now

 

[Peanut!!]

tweak= aussie in disguise

 

[Master C]

No.

Says the POM

 

[PUMBA]

JOKE

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi
"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

The Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this guy your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
Takes me to the lake once a week to play."


Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)


Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me
From the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."

 

[JS316]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi
"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

The Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this guy your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
Takes me to the lake once a week to play."


Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)


Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me
From the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."

Thats awesome! Best joke i've heard in ages!
repped

 

[PUMBA]

Thats awesome! Best joke i've heard in ages!
repped

Thanks bro, great to see a kiwi that enjoys a joke.

Warmin up for the Rugby? yeah I know you are

So will it be your boys or the Springboks taking out the Tri Nations, cause I don't think our boys are in it less they sort out the team a bit.

 

[Peanut!!]

malcolm douglas > steve irwin > kayne west

 

[PUMBA]

malcolm douglas > steve irwin > kayne west

lol his an oldie but a goodie.

 

[Peanut!!]

man seriously, how good were those docos, the world around us, when he is up the territory doing all his crazy shit. so awesome!!

this guy cant compete with that, but hes still someone i want to have by me outback

malcolm douglas > bush tucker man > australia > saddam hussein > anthony mundine

 

[Peanut!!]

where are all the aussies?

 

[Chesticles]

Waiting for you to say something coherent.

 

[Peanut!!]

something coherant huh?

vapor lock - there is noting funny about vapor lock, its the 4th common reason for engine trouble in the united states.

or how about this

water damage - it is not fun matt.

not you, where is pumba and ruel and turnip and pickle and dridderz and shit

 

[Chesticles]

Ignoring you cause your a butt pirate.

 

[Canabalistic Turnip]

not you, where is turnip

 

[Peanut!!]

heyyy! batman outta nowhere!
looking at your sig
we need an aussie superhero or something...

 

[Peanut!!]

im looking for pictures of BLOKEMAN (from comedy inc.)

but until then...
http://www.bogan.com.au/

lol

 

[Peanut!!]

The Definition of a Bogan
What is a bogan?

BOGAN (pronunciation boe-gn) is a term used primarily in Australia to describe a particular section of the working class demographic. This derogatory slang word is a gender-neutral noun; this being important as many bogans tend to gravitate towards one another forming relationships and extended families. A bogan family is not an uncommon phenomena in certain regions. A bogan typically resides in either a low-cost housing estate, government housing or in the outlying regional areas of continental Australia. Generally bogans tend to congregate in areas with little or no features & amenities.

Generally the bogan fits a particular stereotypical image. The perception of what actually constitutes a bogan has been shaped over the years primarily by the media; notable especially are television programs such as Channel 7's Today Tonight and Channel 9's A Current Affair . These programs regularly feature stories of harrowing boganism- including communities under siege from bogan terrorism, and bogans "rorting the system" in relation to welfare benefits and questionable practices. A number of comedy programs have also featured bogans in the past, prime examples being Kylie Mole of The Comedy Company, Poida (bogan pronunciation of the name "Peter") played by Eric Bana, and more recently Bloke Man of the Comedy Inc late shift. Eric Bana's portrayal of the character Poida gained him accolades within the industry and effectively launched his professional acting career. This is one of very few examples of extreme boganism leading to success & wealth.

So now we have a basic understanding of the bogan, we may delve further into the mysterious world of mullets and long-kneck beer bottles in brown paper bags. Traits of the bogan can be summarised by the following points:

• A pronounced lack of dress sense in social situations. Typical bogan attire consists of a flannelette shirt, King Gee stubbie shorts (either blue/khaki), torn or soiled jeans from the 1980's or earlier, and of course double-plug standard issue white thong sandals with black rubber. A bogan's dress sense is not influenced by intended destination/occasion hence the line between workwear and formal wear is often hazy at best. On rare occasions bogans may be spotted wearing enclosed shoes when entering the local RSL to "have a slap on the pokies" or to "get pissed wif me mates on the veebs (VB)". A female bogan will usually wear a matching ensemble usually consisting of second-hand fashions or products purchased from the discount retail chains Best and Less or Big W.

• A lack of personal hygiene. A bogan will often allow his/her hair to grow into an attractive style named the "mullet" as popularised in the 1980's. A hair cut is a rare event for the bogan, and most styling occurs when the razor is brought out to either a) produce a "skinhead" style cut or b) a "frullet" (front-mullet). Similar styles apply for females, however the female bogan frequently colours her hair auburn. The bogan bathroom usually contains a bar of multi-purpose soap used to both cleaning the family, washing the hair, styling the hair and manicures/pedicures. Whilst most non-bogans will use Eau de Toilette spray as a perfume, the most common boganistic fragrance is "Odour of Toilet". The bogan frequently rosters showers at irregular intervals such as once a week for males and twice for females.

• Distinct vocabulary. The bogan language is somewhat foreign to most English-speaking people. For example in boaglish, the word "shooting" would be pronounced as "shootun". Similarly, the word "look out" is pronounced as "look eet". The boaglish alphabet does not contain the letters "i" or "g", hence the pronunciation of words containing the suffix -ing are simply pronounced -un. Examples include "rootun" (rooting), "fishun" (fishing) and the common phrase "where's me fuckun beer woman" (what is the current location of my alcoholic beverage dearest female partner). The boaglish vocabulary is mostly limited to frequent curse-words and miss-pronunciation of common English words. A common bogan trait also includes shortening words. Locations such as the Wyong Leagues Club become the "leaguesy", the Crown Casino becomes the "leaguesy" and females/males such as Sharon/Barry become "Shaz" and "Baz".

• A particular choice in motor vehicle. The bogan usually drives one of two makes of vehicle. Typically this is either a Holden or a Ford . Common bogan variants manufactured by each of these companies include the Holden Commodore (VB-VP models), Holden Kingswood and the Ford Falcon (all models up to the recent EF). Other well known bogan vehicles include early model Datsuns and Toyotas . Bogan accessories include anything HSV/HRT for Holdens, and FPV/FTR for Fords. These vehicles tend to be more prevalent on the roads whilst the V8 supercar races are being held. Drivers often attempt to imitate in heavy traffic their heroes Skaifey (Mark Skaife) and Ambrose (Marcos Ambrose). Bogan vehicles are rarely detailed, and are serviced even less frequently. Most bogan drivers hold animosity towards imported vehicles "farken rice" and are still bitter that the Nissan Skyline beat the Holden and Ford racing teams at Bathurst in the early 90's. Consequently, many bogans believe their VN Commodore has the ability to beat anything with the badge "Ferrari", "Nissan", "BMW M3" or "Pagani". Click here for examples of bogan vehicles.

• Choice in music. The bogan prefers either metal or pub rock. A bogan would suggest that the song Khe Sanh by Cold Chisel would be a more appropriate national anthem than Advance Australia Fair. AC/DC is also a popular choice. Anything Barnesy. Midnight Oil is another classic example of the bogan genre.

• Employment status. The common bogan is either a) not employed or b) a tradesman/labourer. A bogan employee can be spotted kitted up in a fluorescent vest or polo shirt. Unemployed bogans often frequent RSL's/clubs for discount lunches during the day, before continuing on to the local Centrelink office to receive the hard-earned cash of the tax-paying public. This will be followed by a journey to the most convenient bottle shop ("bottlo") to purchase 2x24 cartons ("slabs") of Victoria Bitter ("Veebs") for $60. Also included in this purchase is the all-important packet of Winfield Reds ("Smokes"). The rest of this pension money is budgeted towards the "pokies" at the local pub.

• A poorly-maintained house or unit. As previously mentioned, the bogan often resides in regions of a lower socio-economic standing. Basically, in most cases the bogan is located some way inland from a coastal fringe or major waterway. In the case of Sydney, this has lead to the term "westie" being coined in order to distinguish the boganistic population of the inland western suburbs from the more affluent residents of the east. In the case of NSW/QLD and Victoria, the majority of bogans are located on or west of the Great Dividing Range. Whilst this is not always the case, it is important to note that the concentration of bogans per capita is somewhat higher in these areas. The bogan house usually consists of a number of elements (see below):

The bedroom (for rootun).
The balcony (for smokun/shootun).
The livun room (for watchun telly/smokun/gettun pissed).
The kitchen (for storun beer).
The combined bathroom/laundry (for washun shit) .
The shed (for rootun/smokun/shootun/gettun pissed/storun beer/workun on the commo).
All-in-all the bogan is seen as a top bloke by his mates, but is a menace to the rest of society. Our bogan awareness campaign aims to expose the secrets of the bogan by delving into previously uncharted territory.... n shit

 

[Canabalistic Turnip]

How u like my new company