Will Tennyson
Well-known member
Author
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2025
- Messages
- 45
- Points
- 6
Will Tennison decided to push the limits of human energy, testing seven levels of “performance enhancers” — each more extreme than the last. From inhaling oxygen to chugging 700+ mg of caffeine coffee, he discovered where helpful ends and dangerous begins. Here’s how it went down.
Level 1: Oxygen Can – 3/5 Inhaling oxygen gave quick recovery between sets. His heart rate dropped almost instantly, letting him breathe easier and lift longer. Ideal for circuit or superset training but not much difference in standard lifting.
Level 2: Caffeine Pouches – 2.75/5 Flavor was great, focus kicked in fast, but the crash hit hard mid-workout. The quick absorption spiked energy without the usual amino support, leaving him drained after an hour.
Level 3: Pre-Workout Vape – 3.5/5 A “juul for gym bros.” Immediate focus, insane energy, and even a PR — but also dizziness, tight chest, and nausea. Felt strong but worried about his lungs. Effective, but not sustainable.
Level 4: Pre-Workout Cigarette – 4.25/5 This herbal stick hit like a truck. Heart rate soared past 100 bpm before lifting, energy was through the roof, and he couldn’t sit still. It worked — maybe too well.
Level 5: World’s Strongest Pre – 2/5 Possessed. Literally. 600mg caffeine, 4.5g beta-alanine, full-blown tingles, paranoia, and a panic-level heart rate. He crushed PRs but crashed like a freight train afterward. Pure insanity.
Level 6: Yohimbine – 1.5/5 A banned stimulant in many countries, Yohimbine brought one major side effect: diarrhea. No anxiety or rashes, but it wrecked his stomach. Mild energy and appetite suppression, not worth the risk.
Level 7: Death Wish Coffee – 4/5 728mg caffeine in a single cup. Immediate rush, tunnel vision, anxiety through the roof, and record-breaking pace in the gym. Most effective for raw output, but terrifyingly strong. “I felt like I was watching myself work out.”
Final Thoughts The higher the stimulant, the uglier the crash. The safest and most consistent performer? Oxygen. The most dangerous? Death Wish Coffee. The real takeaway — food, hydration, and sleep outperform any “shortcut.”
Level 1: Oxygen Can – 3/5 Inhaling oxygen gave quick recovery between sets. His heart rate dropped almost instantly, letting him breathe easier and lift longer. Ideal for circuit or superset training but not much difference in standard lifting.
Level 2: Caffeine Pouches – 2.75/5 Flavor was great, focus kicked in fast, but the crash hit hard mid-workout. The quick absorption spiked energy without the usual amino support, leaving him drained after an hour.
Level 3: Pre-Workout Vape – 3.5/5 A “juul for gym bros.” Immediate focus, insane energy, and even a PR — but also dizziness, tight chest, and nausea. Felt strong but worried about his lungs. Effective, but not sustainable.
Level 4: Pre-Workout Cigarette – 4.25/5 This herbal stick hit like a truck. Heart rate soared past 100 bpm before lifting, energy was through the roof, and he couldn’t sit still. It worked — maybe too well.
Level 5: World’s Strongest Pre – 2/5 Possessed. Literally. 600mg caffeine, 4.5g beta-alanine, full-blown tingles, paranoia, and a panic-level heart rate. He crushed PRs but crashed like a freight train afterward. Pure insanity.
Level 6: Yohimbine – 1.5/5 A banned stimulant in many countries, Yohimbine brought one major side effect: diarrhea. No anxiety or rashes, but it wrecked his stomach. Mild energy and appetite suppression, not worth the risk.
Level 7: Death Wish Coffee – 4/5 728mg caffeine in a single cup. Immediate rush, tunnel vision, anxiety through the roof, and record-breaking pace in the gym. Most effective for raw output, but terrifyingly strong. “I felt like I was watching myself work out.”
Final Thoughts The higher the stimulant, the uglier the crash. The safest and most consistent performer? Oxygen. The most dangerous? Death Wish Coffee. The real takeaway — food, hydration, and sleep outperform any “shortcut.”
