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  • Follow the 2026 Olympia on September 24 to 27, 2026!

New Zealand out of condoms

tim290280

tim290280

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Written so as to convey the accent correctly.
Condom factory burns down in New Zealand:

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

Hillen, its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.

PM: Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies.. W' ill be ruined.

Hilth Munister: We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain?

PM: No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.

Hilth Munister: What about Australia?

PM: I'll call Kivin Rudd. Tell hum we need one million condoms, ten enches long and eight enches thuck.

That way they'll continue to respect the "all blacks".

Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office. She finds one million condoms. 10 enches long, 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.

MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM
 
Robcardu

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Kiwis left and right....!!
 
SerbMarko

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don't they have lots of goats in NZ? there's your solution right thurr!!

if you do not get my reference to this comment then please save yourself the trouble and do not reply..
 
Skeptic

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don't they have lots of goats in NZ? there's your solution right thurr!!

if you do not get my reference to this comment then please save yourself the trouble and do not reply..

They are known for Sheep.
 
Skeptic

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goat skin, sheep skin, lamb skin.. they all do the trick..

If you're going to be a bastard at the end of your post, you may as well get the subject matter right :gaysign:
 
SerbMarko

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If you're going to be a bastard at the end of your post, you may as well get the subject matter right :gaysign:

what do you mean?

i never read this original post i just seen the part that a condom factory burned down and they are out of rubbers, so i was referring to the fact that NZ is famous for their sheep and all original condoms were made out of lamb/sheep skin.. what did i say wrong?
 
Skeptic

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what do you mean?

i never read this original post i just seen the part that a condom factory burned down and they are out of rubbers, so i was referring to the fact that NZ is famous for their sheep and all original condoms were made out of lamb/sheep skin.. what did i say wrong?

I was refering to your post

don't they have lots of goats in NZ? there's your solution right thurr!!

if you do not get my reference to this comment then please save yourself the trouble and do not reply..

I meant that you should get your joke subject matter right if you're going to finish with a line like that :)



PS, I got your joke ;)
 

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Pickle

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whats wrong with sheep shagging?
 
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