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Squatting Poems

tim290280

tim290280

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THE SQUAT

Down this road, in a gym far away,
a young man was heard to say,
"no matter what i do, my legs won't grow"
he tried leg extensions, leg curls, and leg presses , too
trying to cheat, these sissy workouts he'd do.

from the corner of the gym where the big men train,
through a cloud of chalk and the midst of pain
where the noise is made with big forty fives,
a deep voice bellowed as he wrapped his knees.
a very big man with legs like trees.

laughing as he snatched another plate from the stack
chalking his hands and monstrous back,
said, "boy, stop lying and don't say you've forgotten,
the trouble with you is you ain't been SQUATTIN'. "

-----------DALE CLARK-----------



The Mighty Squat By; Joe Skopec

We've come to squat so run and hide
You bicep freaks must step aside

Just take your sissy selves elsewhere
You'll turn your heads but still you'll stare

Go right ahead and pay attention
Glimpse into this strange dimension

Yeah you're still weak and never grow
This world of pain you'll never know

Your shouts upon the leg-press, phony!
Noodle legs like macaroni

Some day I hope you'll understand
And wrench free from the poser band

Puny curl bars, leave this spot
The rack named for the mighty SQUAT




Untitled By; PDS

The young man looked fit, thick through the chest. Bulging biceps and triceps. Washboard abs and the rest.
He strode a bit closer. To my shock and surprise!
I saw his torso supported, by two spindly thighs!
He walked with confidence and no apprehensions,
as he performed his first set of leg extensions!
I watched this debacle, watched his face turn askew.
Watched him scream in mock agony, 'til his set was all through.
T'was then I approached him and extended my hand.
"I don't mean to disrupt you, but excuse me, young man!
I was admiring your work. Man, that set was nice!
But I wonder if I might offer some helpful advice?"
He spoke not a word. Simply nodded his head.
I could read his expression. He wished I were dead.
"Get off this contraption! You're wasting your time!
Go to the squat rack! You can see....there's NO line!
You don't need machines! You don't need to look far!
Just load on the weight and get under the bar!
Unrack that sucker! Squat ass to the floor!
Grab some big plates, and load on some more!
Hear the iron rattle as you pound out each rep!
But please, my friend! YOU must take the first step!
Come with me now! To the squat rack we'll go!
Together we'll get those tiny pegs to grow!"
He studied me hard. He seemed in a haze.
No words came! He stood in a daze!
'Say SOMETHING, son! Speak to me, PLEASE!'
'I can't do it!', he screamed! 'I have bad knees!'




Through a cloud of chalk, the big man appears Belt cinched tight, no look of fear.

With blood shot eyes, he approaches the bar Rage flowing through him, a war in his heart.

The cold steel greets him, his best friend Un-racking the tonnage, the bar starts to bend.

Sets up in his stance now, and takes in his air The weight feels light, he’s already there.

Unlocking his hips, and taking it down His mind now blank, he hears no sounds.

Reversing the gears, and driving it up The blood starts to flow, the crowd erupts.

A smile cracks his face, a bloody-toothed grin The bar grinds to lockout, he’s helped to the pins.

Three whites blaze bright, the Vegas strip There’s stars in his eyes, and blood on his lip.

A finger of thanks, to the Man up above He shakes off the haze and his handler’s hugs.

It’s just who he is, born, bred, and true He’d die for the PR, he’s paid his dues.

Cause there’s nothing like the feel, the knurled bar on his back He smiles; the loaders grab more plates from the stack.

Rick Walker



Treading softly but surely I enter the room
I'm like Gary Cooper and now is High Noon
My enemy waits near the fire escape door
Just waiting to crush, leave me smashed on the floor

The weaker men sneer, but bow down their head
I'm walking a path they don't dare to tread
The stronger men smile and kind words are spoken
I'll leave this place proud or I'll leave this place broken

I'm limber and ready I'm stretched and prepared
My foe waits impassive, it knows that I'm scared
Now battle is joined as I start my attack
The great heavy beast like a bear on my back

My shoulders are aching I sink towards the ground
My legs feel like breaking my eardrums now pound
The beast pushes down now I use all my might
A huge surge of effort I'm winning the fight

I rise like the Phoenix my comrades all yell
They've helped and cajoled, They've been through this Hell
They've nurtured me, cussed me, been there like true mates
I'm one of the guys now I've squatted five plates.

John Stokes



When my ass leaves the breaking floor,
Lifting weight of such amount
That no mortal eye can count,
All of sudden on top I soar
And Realize:
To happiness there's no such bind
As a PR that's left behind!
Squat! Squat! Squat!
 
El Freako

El Freako

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Amen again motherfucker :xyxthumbs:, now hurry up and post in here so I can rep you into next week.

Now I have the over-powering urge to go and break into my gym and squat... but I mustn't, 1rm day is Thursday.
 
tim290280

tim290280

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I don't get to squat until thursday santafrown

Even then it will only be bulgarian squats and maybe some front squats as part of C&J's
 
Adam23

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awesome !!! thanks tim :tiphat:
 
tim290280

tim290280

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I do legs twice a week, but it still feels like a long gap between sessions.

When I need motivation I read these sort of things and watch Tom Platz's video of the 500lbs for 23 reps.
 
PrinceVegeta

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Very nice poems!!
 

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theweapon

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lmao "noodle legs like macaroni"
 
PrinceVegeta

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Anymore more poems maybe related to other lifts?
 
PrinceVegeta

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DEADLIFTING

By Eric Dodd


My legs sprawled out from the bench where I sit


While I soak in my sweat and tongue out the grit


From my molars and savor each second of rest


Before I return for a personal best




I imagine each subsequent part of my set-up

Chalk my torn palms before stooping to get up

Trudge back toward the bar across the gym floor

A dejected ex-lover who's come back for more

I step to the weight as if starting a fight

My body resilient, my fists clenched tight

Lower myself in a humble bow

To a weight never moved-at least until now




I push back the caution and doubt that I've felt

Unleashing Hell as I fasten my belt

Seizing the bar with resolute hands

Eschewing stares from those who don't understand

Look up and tense through my heels to the ground

Pulling with madness, head up and butt down

The bar flexes upward then cracks off the floor

The weight lumbers, slumbers, encumbers me more




And as I strain through the physical strife

I loose sight of time and the bland chores of life

For this is my passion, though extreme in degree

And yes most wouldn't guess, as the bar clears my knees,

That I'm feeling such joy by God's own grace

Behind this beat-red frown on my face




And with every inch the bar crawls up my thighs

With every groan and pain-laden cry

With every moment the iron yields to me

Without a doubt, I am truly free.
 
PrinceVegeta

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Bodybuilding
by Robert M Wilson
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

All right, you brutes, get off your glutes and turn the TV down.
Those sexy ladies in the ads at you would only frown.
Start crunching abs, you ectomorphs, and pump a litttle iron.
The gibberish you hear onscreen is far from a Lord Byron.

Let's go, you brutes, get off your glutes and put away the beer.
The football star you cheer for didn't get there on his rear.
It's bulging pecs and biceps that the chickies all adore.
So load the bench press barbells and do pushups 'til you're sore.

Come on, you brutes, get off your glutes and meet me at the club.
You'll never build your traps and delts and lats while at the pub.
The broads want bods with buns and quads so hard it makes them squeal.
"No pain, no gain" says everything to make your six-pack real.

And when you've finished bulking up so all can see you're buff,
They'll pay you the attention that you worked for soon enough.
 
Bhana

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Poems for meatheads, i love it!
 
Adam23

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Bodybuilding
by Robert M Wilson
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

All right, you brutes, get off your glutes and turn the TV down.
Those sexy ladies in the ads at you would only frown.
Start crunching abs, you ectomorphs, and pump a litttle iron.
The gibberish you hear onscreen is far from a Lord Byron.

Let's go, you brutes, get off your glutes and put away the beer.
The football star you cheer for didn't get there on his rear.
It's bulging pecs and biceps that the chickies all adore.
So load the bench press barbells and do pushups 'til you're sore.

Come on, you brutes, get off your glutes and meet me at the club.
You'll never build your traps and delts and lats while at the pub.
The broads want bods with buns and quads so hard it makes them squeal.
"No pain, no gain" says everything to make your six-pack real.

And when you've finished bulking up so all can see you're buff,
They'll pay you the attention that you worked for soon enough.

awesome bro :xyxthumbs:
 
Bone Yard

Bone Yard

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i dont even do my legs.
 
PrinceVegeta

PrinceVegeta

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^^ loser :keke:

More poems pls!!
 

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