Things That Make You Say "I'm Retarded."

[Chesticles]

You know what I mean, when you spend forever looking for your sunnies and there on top of your head, stuff like that. My most recent moment was about 5 mins ago when I put one of my socks on, then my shoe, then couldn't find my other sock. Spent 5 mins looking for it before I realised it was on my other foot

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[Zigurd]

This is exercise related.

Was doing flat dumbbell presses and once I was done I had to take the weights to the floor, obviously. Now, when I`m using really heavy weights I cannot stand up and put them on the floor, so I just drop them on the floor as gently as I can without twisting my wrists into oblivion.

But this particular session I forgot how the fuck to put them down. So there I was, dumbbells in mid air, and I was lying there thinking of how I used to put down the weights. I think probably a minute passed in which I just layed there holding the dumbbells. I wonder what people thought. I had a massive brain spasm.

Then I just dropped them. Felt like a retarded version of a rabbit.

 

[Hypocrisy86]

I was in the middle of the gym (This was almost 4 years ago)
walking through the area where the flat BB presses where
well i had my music on, my head kinda bend down, (was semi-exhausted, remember, my old 6hour workouts....) well there was this one seat for BB military presses with a BB across the top of it, if you know what i mean, well i just walked straight into that thing, like fast walk type mode, bangggggg forehead hit right at the tip of the BB, i just thought for a split or a milisecond "wtf?" then just went back to business, people stared at me. but yep.

and another time, i was in school, cooking or w/e its called
well i asked the teacher if i could use the restroom, she said no (all of them think when a student asks that, they just wanna skip) well i told her i need to go bad etc
she still said no. i told her, im gonna shit my pants if i dont, im serious
the other students looked at me like "plz dont"
well i started to prairie dog a bit then she and most of the class smelled a tad bit of my anal-odor, so she decided to let me take shit in the shitter.

 

[Daniel Andersson]

Once I was looking all over the house after the phone...all the time I was holding it in my left hand

 

[Mygeeto]

having to lace up my boots every day. these are big as combat boots that are my only pair of shoes. frigen anoying taking them off and putting them on because your forever lacing them up or taking the laces off. big mistake to buy those

 

[Rocky]

I once entertained Chesty in conversation.

 

[PrinceVegeta]

u guys are retarded

 

[lifterdead]

This happened today.

I was in a rush to catch a bus, and I needed to know what time it was. I glanced at my clock, ran outside, and then couldn't remember what the clock said.......

 

[Dstan]

one time i was in a hurry for no reason at all, and when i got out of my friends vehicle i shut the door as normal but i still had my head in the vicinity of the door so the door wopped me in the head when i shut it lol.

 

[Zigurd]

I started thinking about something to post here, then I stared blankly at the screen... not remembering what I wanted to post. So I posted this instead.

 

[PrinceVegeta]

I started thinking about something to post here, then I stared blankly at the screen... not remembering what I wanted to post. So I posted this instead.

HAHAHA LMAO!!

 

[Clint]

I carry 4 things with me, 2 pairs of keys, cell phone, wallet, I always count to four before I leave anywhere.

Well most of the time I'll put both pairs of the keys on my fingers with the key chain holes right.

Well I've forgot on several instances that I put both pairs on my fingers and I go around getting really angry wondering "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CAR KEYS!"

I do that at least once a week

 

[MaKaVeLi]

this happened to me just yesterday. I went to a gas station to pick up a few iceblocks for my sister and nephew. I paid for the purchases at the counter, had the iceblocks in my right hand and I started looking for my keys in my pockets using my left hand. I got into a small panic when I realised the keys weren't in my pockets and I hadn't left it at the counter either. Then I heard the familiar sound of keys - THEY WERE IN MY FREAKIN LEFT HAND!! RETARDED!!

 

[Pickle]

I carry 4 things with me, 2 pairs of keys, cell phone, wallet, I always count to four before I leave anywhere.

Well most of the time I'll put both pairs of the keys on my fingers with the key chain holes right.

Well I've forgot on several instances that I put both pairs on my fingers and I go around getting really angry wondering "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CAR KEYS!"

I do that at least once a week

lolol tweakers i do that counting thing too. I religiously slap my pockets whenever i leave the house. cept i count only to 3 usually. top pocket for keys pants pockets for mobile phone and wallet

 

[Mygeeto]

every single time i post at Musclemecca.com
particularly in chesti threads.

 

[Hypocrisy86]

its 5am and im still awake..

 

[Skeptic]

i feel retarded everytime i listen to slipknot.

 

[Mygeeto]

edit: Skep, what are you doing listening to fagknot anyway?

 

[Skeptic]

eh... cant escape it sometimes

 

[Beefcake]

take shit in the shitter.

Eloquent choice of words

Just the other day I was in art class, and since all we usually do is watch films or have studio time to work on our projects which I finish in one day most of the time, I decided to listen to some music on my iPod. Now, the pre-cursor to this story is I smoked a bit of the sweet leaf at lunch and Art Class is 3rd period. When I came back in from lunch my friend, Moose, wanted to listen to some death metal, so I allowed him to use my iPod for lunch and I didn't realize that I did that. So all through art class I was tapping my pockets and checked my locker furiously for a good ten minutes. So I started to get concerned that I lost my 160GB, $400, iPod. Since I was still pretty fried, I couldn't go to the principal's office to check the lost and found because they'd definatly be able to tell I was ripped. It wasn't until 4th period (last period of the day) that I saw Moose in my law class (I found it ironic that that day we talked about marijuana laws in Canada and about how it's practically legal now) and he just looked at me for 10 seconds before he finally fidgeted in his pocket and pulled out my iPod and asked if I was worried I'd lost it. I was seriously ready to choke him out.

Special Ed FTW.