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True Facts

sexnews

sexnews

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I am busy reading a book called "True Facts"

I will be posting some of the facts.

Stay tuned for 1000s of freaky, scary, gross, extraordinary and simply unbelievable FACTS!
 
Tech

Tech

Ron Paul FTW
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ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So i gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
 
Skeptic

Skeptic

I am god.
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tell her to man up and deal with it. shit happens.




:keke:
 
Kanav

Kanav

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woah woah wait, you gave away diddy kong racing?
 
Adam23

Adam23

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just give her another n64 game, and let her go home bro :carduindisguise
 
sexnews

sexnews

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Battling a bit with my internet connection.

First few:

Brilliant Brains

If you strung along all your nerves end to end, they would measure 50 miles

Surgeons can operate on a brain while the person is concious becaus the brain doesn't feel pain when it is cut

Your brain demands 25% of your blood supply

Super Senses

There are 1000 different kinds of stink receptor in your nose

In 2001 the US army did some research to develop a stinkbomb to deal with rioters - and they found that the most devastating smell was poop mixed with rotting onions
 
Adam23

Adam23

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^^^interesting stuff !!!
thanks bro :tiphat:
 
PrinceVegeta

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ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So i gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?

Kick her out and deny ever seeing her that day...
 
Samoan-Z

Samoan-Z

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ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So i gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?


Ok here's what you do, Go find ice, suck on the ivce for about 2 minutes and eat this hcick out it will relieve the burning and possbile make her feel better, but you get soem saterated fat from the butter once you finished she will most likely get wet. Now turn on the shower your parents will mostly likely assume you are showering this gives you a 30 minutes time frame to go to town on her.... so do so.

Then get her dressed and make her get out the bathroom winodw but take back donkey kong racing cause that game kicks ass you got what you want to soo fuck it.

Also make sure you wearing a condom as not to leave semen desposits incase of a investigation.

also don't worry about the burned cooch cause she could have done it getting a wax.

Also use your parents as alibi's to say you were at home in the shower the whole time.

Scoot free there ya go buddy.

Disclaimer: this was all rehearsed for a play and in no way have I aided in the act of criminal activites.
 
bambam55

bambam55

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haha that was some funny shit tech
 
sexnews

sexnews

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Growing Parts

Hot weather makes your hair grow faster

Fair-haired people have a lot more hairs than redheads - 150 000 vs 90 000

If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime

A fingernail takes about six months to grow from base to tip

Your middle finger grows fastest, your thumbnail slowest
 
brendan

brendan

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thanx 4 the info sexnews.:xyxthumbs:
 
Adam23

Adam23

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Growing Parts

Hot weather makes your hair grow faster

Fair-haired people have a lot more hairs than redheads - 150 000 vs 90 000

If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime

A fingernail takes about six months to grow from base to tip

Your middle finger grows fastest, your thumbnail slowest
nice info !!!
keep them coming bro :xyxthumbs:
 
sexnews

sexnews

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Super Sight

Your eyes blink 10-24 times / minute - that's 415 million times in a lifetime

You have 200 eyelashes on each eye to protect them from dust

Bodily Fluids

Tears wet your eyes each time you blink - about 25 times / minute. It Takes 100 tears to fill a teaspoon. You cry 14 gallons in a lifetime, about 1 850 000 tears!

Cows can make 200 times as much saliva as humans.

Snot moves through your breathing tubes at about 1/2 inch per hour.

You recycle about 2 pints of snot a day by swallowing it.

Snot isn't just useless goo. It's the stuff your body oozes out to trap dirt and protect the lining of your airways
 
brendan

brendan

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that's some book you got there sexnews.keep'em comin' bro.
 
Hypocrisy86

Hypocrisy86

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and yall think im weird
 
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